David and Abigail's Wedding Talk on Covenant
The Scope
Contracts cover a transaction between 2 parties
Covenants cover the relationship between 2 parties
The Motivation
Contracts are motivated by a lack of trust, so both parties seek to limit their exposure to risk.
Covenants are motivated by love and built on trust, so both parties risk everything without setting any limits.
The Language
Contracts are written out, their language is complex it is explicit. They list a comprehensive series of expectations and outline all the possible means of failure with their penalties.
Covenants are usually spoken, their language is simple because the terms are unconditional.
The Source
Contracts come from the minds of lawyers, the letter of the law.
Covenants from the hearts of lovers, the spirit of the law.
The Personality
Contracts are mechanical; they have never inspired anybody. They put most of us to sleep. Have you ever read the entire agreement before you click the ‘I agree’ button on your favorite website?
Covenants are filled with emotion and passion, they are inspirational, and people write stories about covenants.
Marriage is NOT a contract it is a Covenant relationship.
The Currency of Covenant
The Story of the Chicken and the Pig –
One morning the chicken and the pig had a conversation. The chicken brought up an idea about the two of them starting a restaurant venture as partners. The pig asked, “what would we call it?” The Chicken answered, how about ‘Ham and Eggs.’
The pig remained silent with a faraway look in his eyes. Then He answered slowly, I think I am going to pass.
Why? the chicken asked. The pig answered, For you, this is simply an adventure, you are involved, but you are not committed, you are giving only what comes spontaneously day by day.
For me, It would require the ultimate sacrifice, to commit to this would cost me my life!
The Currency of Contract is things
Exchanging money, items of value, or services. The consequences of breaking a contract are also temporal. If You break the contract you pay x number of dollars or return the items.
The Currency of Covenant is your life
In a covenant, two parties promise to give each other the entire substance of who they are; their time, their devotion, their protection, their influence, their assets, their family, their friends, all that they have is on the table, to be shared without boundaries. In short, they give their entire life to their covenant partner.
Contracts are 'perform or pay.'
Covenants are 'do or die.'
This is the same Covenant Promise Jesus Christ has made to you. He literally gave his life to make you his bride. Scripture says, “Herein is Love (Covenant Love) that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” That is the currency of covenant.
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The Language of Contract
Contract says:
“If you are who you are supposed to be, then I will be who I am supposed to be.
“To the degree that you are who you are supposed to be, I will be who I am supposed to be.”
But, “If you are not who you are supposed to be, I am out of here.”
The bottom line is... “my best experience at your expense.”
The Language of Covenant
Covenant says:
“I will be who I am supposed to be, regardless of whether you are who you are supposed to be.”
“I will be who I am supposed to be… Period.
The bottom line is... “Your best experience at my expense.”
In the vows you speak to each other today, you will NOT hear…
Well... “I will if you will” is the language of contract NOT the language of covenant.
What you should hear in the vows spoken today is
“I am all in! – period.”
God is a covenant God and He Honors covenant.
Here are some familiar Scriptures that are vital for the marriage covenant. See if you can hear the covenant language in them. The first is in Gen. 2:18,21-24.
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” … So, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
In Ephesians chapter 5, Paul writes to married couples and gives them instructions. He says to you… “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Now, this submission should never be a burden because of what he also says to husbands.
Paul gives a stronger covenant call to husbands saying, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” this is a high calling. To the amount that Jesus loves His people, you must love your wife.
Now, of course, up to this point, you have never found fault or irritation with each other. But in case you ever do, this is where Romans 12:9-12 (NIV) comes into play.
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Look at the last half of verse 10, “Honor one another above yourselves.” this is the essence of covenant language and commitment.
in verse 12, Paul said you need to be, “Faithful in Prayer.”
Covenant with Abraham – Genesis 15 – Ancient Covenants
In the ancient world. - when two parties came together to ‘cut’ a treaty or any other covenant. They would cut a series of sacrificial animals into halves. The two pieces of each animal would be laid out on two sides, with an aisle between them. To establish the covenant the two parties would pass through between the pieces. They would make a verbal declaration like this,
“May I become like one of these animals should I ever break the vows of this covenant I have made today.” participants offered their own life as payment if they should ever break this covenant. In Genesis 15 we have a historical record of one of these covenants, where God cut a covenant with his friend Abram.
V8 And he said, “Lord God, how shall I know that I will inherit it?” So He said to him, “Bring Me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.” Then he brought all these to Him and cut them in two, down the middle, and placed each piece opposite the other; but he did not cut the birds in two.
V12 Now when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, horror and great darkness fell upon him.
V17 And it came to pass when the sun went down and it was dark, that behold, there appeared a smoking oven and a burning torch that passed between those pieces. On the same day, the Lord made a covenant with Abram,
This passage in Genesis is a foreshadow of the covenant walked out by Jesus of Nazareth. He was the flaming torch who passed through the pieces on Abram’s behalf.
One of the few covenants still active in our culture, is the wedding covenant that we are celebrating today and one of the only remaining symbols of that covenant is the walking ‘between the pieces’, here is the aisle that divides the two pieces of your combined families.
The bride’s half and the groom’s half
And at the very end of the ceremony when you are presented by the announcement that you are a couple for the very first time. The two of you will exit by walking between the ‘pieces’. Your two legal witnesses and the pairs of attendants will also walk between the pieces. This is how ancient covenants were established. Similar to the signing of a contract which makes the agreement legally binding.
Various writings from the past
The Road Not Taken
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